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Whether or not you are planning to leave the relationship, there are ways to increase your safety.
It is important to remember that victims are at an increased risk of violence when they attempt to leave, and need to make a safety plan.
When you are planning to leave the relationship:
- Get a restraining or stalking order and keep it with you. Give a copy to your employer.
- Call a shelter for assistance in locating resources, getting support and keeping safe.
- Call the police when an assault occurs.
- Get legal assistance in filing for divorce, arranging for custody and visitation.
- Prepare a “Flight Kit” which includes money, documents, extra car keys and clothes, and keep it in a safe place.
- Develop a plan for you and your children on how to get out of a dangerous situation.
If you are not planning to leave the relationship:
- Pay attention to signs or behaviors that warn you an assault will occur, and leave if possible. If you can’t leave, move to a room with an outside exit, and avoid bathrooms and kitchens or other rooms where weapons are kept.
- Call 911.
- Ask neighbors to call the police if they hear cries for help, yelling or loud noises.
- Change locks if the abuser moves out.
- Make sure your children know what to do in order to keep safe if violence occurs. For example, they can go to the neighbors, call 9-1-1, or hide.
- Learn what resources and options are available if you need to leave in an emergency (call shelters, crisis lines, talk to friends).
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