Listed below in order of lethality are the characteristics of abusers.
The lower the number, the more lethal the relationship. If anyone scores on two or more ratings, move up to the next classification.
LOW PROBABILITY OF ABUSE
45. He supports her career not her job
44. He supports her continuing education.
43. He is comfortable with the majority of her friends.
42. He is not threatened by her having male friends independent of him.
41. He helps parent the children.
40. He plays by the same rules as he expects from her.
39. He takes care of himself.
38. His actions show that he accepts responsibility for childcare and household chores.
MEDIUM PROBABILITY OF ABUSE
37. He is dissatisfied with their sexual relationship (move up to #24 if he blames her while taking little or no responsibility).
36. He criticizes her body (move up to #24 if he uses this for not being sexual with her)
35. He disapproves of her religious choices (move up to #18 if he believes her religion is evil).
Recent increase in stress:
a. Pregnancy: Because of the demands played on the sexual relationship, it is one of the foremost stressors that leads to domestic violence.
b. Unemployment: (Move up to #18 if he has a long history of unemployment with no physical explanation).
c. Moving: Moving from another state especially if there have been many recent geographical relocations.
d. Physical sickness: Illness puts a great deal of stress on the relationship.
NOTE: Probability becomes EXTREMELY high with any one of these factors if he has abused her in the past.
HIGH PROBABILITY OF ABUSE
34. Chemical Dependence:
33. He owns or has a fascination with guns or other symbols of masculine aggression.
32. He is cruel to animals or invested in making dogs vicious,
31. If either were abused as a child (move up to #20 if his father beat his mother)
30. He is EXTREMELY invested in his image (move up to #18, she is part of his image, she has to make him look good).
29. He publicly humiliates her for ethnic/religious background.
28. He sexually humiliates her in public (move up to #7 if he has used the words cunt, slut, whore).
27. He makes hostile sexist remarks or jokes.
26. He uses her childhood or past against her, especially if she was sexually abused as a child.
EXTREMELY HIGH PROBABILITY OF ABUSE
25. He has hit her more than once.
24. He demonstrates extreme jealousy and she tries to manipulate him with jealousy.
23. He demonstrates extreme jealousy and she tries to avoid this.
22. He has a police record for violence.
21. He has used something to hit her with that was planned.
20. He has extreme control needs.
19. He has threatened to take the children away from her either by kidnapping or reporting her to Child Protective Services. Great care must be taken to determine if this is an authentic concern for the children or a blackmail maneuver. Men who have little involvement with their children are usually not concerned for them when a custody battle begins. If his major concern is her sexuality, he is not concerned for the children.
18. He has pushed her, squeezed her, or thrown something at her.
17. He has threatened to hurt the children or someone else she loves in order to get her to comply with his demands (move to #18 if he has been successful at this).
16. He has implied or directly stated he will hit or hurt her.
15. He has threatened to actively or passively hurt pets.
14. He consistently blames her for his violence or rage.
13. He has unrealistic demands (move to #18 if she tries to meet his demands to avoid his anger).
12. He sabotages her job, school, or any activity that is independent of him.
RELATIONSHIP IS LETHAL
11. He has attempted to kill or has used a weapon such as a knife or a gun.
10. There is instructional violence-torture that is planned, where the motivation is control and getting off on the violence.
9. He has prostituted her.
8. He has raped her.
7. He has threatened her with a weapon.
6. He has attempted suicide.
5. He has ked a pet as an example to the family.
4. He has verbally threatened to kill.
3. He has threatened to commit suicide if she doesn’t return.
2. He has threatened the safety of a loved one or a pet to get her to comply with his sexual demands.
1. She has required medical attention for violence which usually is documented as accidental.